Lessons At Birth
From the time we make our appearance into the world, we are learning. We learn how to be comforted, we learn to recognize touch and sound.
It’s impossible to know exactly what we’re thinking, but to me it seems logical that we are observing and utilizing the senses we have to learn about our surroundings.
If we don’t receive nurturing and interaction, we are likely not very excitable. If we are hungry or wet, we use our experience to tell us how to ask for comfort. If our cries are ignored, we either accept discomfort as the norm or we continue to grow unhappy until our needs are met.
It might not seem like anyone has any impact on our life when we’re so young. I don’t understand how the truth can be so mistaken. No, a baby won’t have a recalled memory of it, but it definitely is an experience that has an impact on who we become.
One or Two Teachers
I can remember moments or glimpses of times. I always surprise people with my keen memory. My parents divorced when I was almost 5. After my mom died, I questioned my Dad about weird memories I had.
Astonished by the detail, he validated my memories and clarified the confusion I’d carried for 40 years or so. Doing so also opened my mind up to revisit my memories with a more accurate concept of what was happening.
That’s when I realized how misguided I was as a parent. I had all but raised my kids, and NOW I understand better how they perceived things when they were little.
I started to understand why I was so concerned with approval of my parents and of all elders. It makes great sense now, that I’ve always been very injured by criticism and rejection.
More and more, my authentic self is clearly a result of my parents’ lack of experience and guidance. It quickly opened my eyes to what my job as a parent is. Sadly, I don’t think most parents ever have that aha moment.
I wish I had it when I could have changed what my kids were learning. That’s the thing that made me see the giant lie we tell ourselves as parents. We aren’t qualified to teach our children. That is ridiculous.
Programming
If you think about it, the first methods we use to teach our kids is through programming. With repetition, any animal will learn ways that work and don’t. It is a part of nature for animals to teach their young.
Some are more patient than others, and usually one animal is the rearer. Evolved animals, like humans, learn what our parents learned, and we develop life bonds.
Sometimes, we have a teacher that makes a huge impact on us for the way they teach, or their generosity, or a particular lesson they taught. A teacher appreciates these stories because they “do a thankless job.”
I graduated from a public school. Twice. But, I get it, now. Learning is a life long journey when done right. I didn’t come out of high school or college with that mindset or attitude. The teachers, the students, nor the parents share this thinking, in most cases.
In my view, no school is better than public and traditional school settings. I hear the reasons that parents give for not staying home with the kids and for sending their kids to school and it bothers me. Statements like:
“I’m not a teacher, he won’t sit and do the work for me “
“They need to be socialized and learn to play with other kids their age.”
“I’d be fat cuz I’d eat out of boredom.”
“I’d go nuts being with them all day!”
Oh, sure you laugh in understanding, but truly? Unaware of how that sounds to the at-home mom who homeschools her kids, they also don’t consider that it leaves impressions on the kids, other parents, teachers…and everyone listening.
That way of thinking is not the best way of thinking for the children or the future. One parent should not be disrespected because they don’t contribute financially to a family situation.
Parents who choose to school their kids shouldn’t be doubted or questioned about their qualifications. It seems dumb that we don’t question before the age of 5, but after.
By the time we’re 5 years old, we have learned what will get us through childhood, with little outside assistance aside from financial support and meal service and first aid, etc. Our attitude, behavior, strengths and weaknesses are all formed as part of our formative programming.
Restructured Thinking
It amazes me, the knowledge we have about psychology, sociology, biology, and all those ‘gies, and the controversy involved in any and all of it. Science is a pretty convincing reason to act. There are places and times that proven science is required and others that allow for experimental exploration.
I’m unimpressed by the “evolution” of human parenting. The initial idea of schooling was understandable, to a point. Inventions of technology weren’t a result of highly educated men in many cases. Many intelligent individuals schooled at home.
There was a time when women were proud to be raising their children and creating mindful, active, community-minded citizens. Fathers took pride in the values, ethics and morals he helped to instill, among other qualities.
Modern parents are too hung up on women’s rights, misogyny, chauvinism, gender roles, equal opportunity, equal rights, equal wages…blah blah blah. Who cares which parent is the breadwinner? Who cares which is the domestic engineer?
There was a time when we knew it was our job to raise and teach our children. When it wasn’t popular to expect someone to have sex if they weren’t prepared to deal with the consequences. When women didn’t think the only way to be loved was through sex.
We’ve become a society of convenience and indulgence. We exhibit the values, morals and ethics that are convenient for the times and “we want what we want.” It’s sad. I have a lot more to say on the subject, but … Baby steps.
The first step in changing for the better is recognizing the problems. In the interest of collecting proof to raise awareness, I am determined to cause a new trend that will forever change society for the better.
One way to facilitate change is to help others change their lives. That’s my aim. I want to help others find their financial freedom and in the end freedom of choice and time, too.
In doing so, I believe I can inspire a different mindset and appreciation of their responsibility for current and future parents.
Be sure to sign up for my newsletter and update if you want to hear more of my thoughts on the subject of parenting and how it relates to home business.
My dream society? No abuse, aggression, insecurity, suicide…more self-awareness, contentment and improvement.
Lessons At Birth From the time we make our appearance into the world, we are learning. We learn how to be comforted, we learn to recognize touch and sound. It’s impossible to know exactly what we’re thinking, but to me it seems logical that we are observing and utilizing the senses we have to learn…
Hi Kelli, it’s Stone Evans. I’m excited to watch your site develop and grow!